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		03/04/04 - SNOWPENAIR, KLEINE SCHEIDEGG, GRINDELWALD Review by Chris Goulding: Where to start with this epic tale! To say us UK Baddies were a little excited pre-gig is the understatement of the year! So when the day of my departure arrived it was impossible to concentrate at work, as my mind was a whirl. They had set up a BA swear box that I had to put money into for charity every time I mentioned BA and it was well full by lunchtime! More was added not long after when I got a text message to say that one of our party couldn’t make it. Not wanting her to loose out on a heck of a lot of money I rang my hubby to see if he wanted to join loads on lovely ladies on a trip of a lifetime. I gave him only one condition if he agreed to accept this mission – that he was too ignore my BAD ways and not file for divorce when we got back!! (Wise move, as you will read later). So I got home all in a right fluster, throwing any of his clothes I got find into a bag and we made a mad dash for the train up to London and on from there to Mave’s not far from Luton Airport. The rest of the party joined us during the early hours of the morning and we then set off in a convoy of taxis to book in for the flight at 5.30am. The 2 hours before the flight were spent entertaining Spanky the Monkey – the little rascal kept running off with Ad in chase!! With lack of sleep gradually catching up on us we all eventually boarded the plane. It was my first flight so I was quite nervous but took heart from Helen who was stuffing chocolate down her neck like it was going out of fashion, that I wouldn’t be ill. The plane taxied down the runway with the pilot telling us the weather was a bit unsettled around the airport but fine elsewhere. NEVER believe a man in uniform I say! - That dam plane shaked, rattled and rolled all the way to Zurich. I thought it was gonna shake itself to bits at one stage. Helen was going whiter by the minute and then a nice shade of green. I was busily looking up train timetables for back to the UK as there was no way I was getting on a plane again!! Eventually landed (belly flopped onto the runway) and we made our way out of the plane with the cabin crew very envious that we were off to see BA. Collected bags, went through passport control and made our way into customs to find we were missing Sarah. She had lost her passport possibly on the plane (which was now heading back to the UK) so we could only wave to her thorough glass doors as she waited deportation!! A few minutes later she appeared looking very sheepish – she had found it in her back pocket! A quick goodbye to Ad, Jo & Steve (they were ‘doing’ Zurich and not coming to snow gig) and we staggered our way with our luggage to the station and onto a real plush double decked train. For 4 hours we wound our way through the valleys with the scenery getting higher and higher and even more WOW at every bend. We eventually pulled into the station to be met with the most gob-smacking beautiful scenery you could imagine. In front of us was the mountain on which the gig was gonna be the next day with the little railway climbing way up onto it. My tiredness & hunger disappeared – it was all too much to take in. We booked into the hostel – 5 in each room- good job we were all good mates as the bunk beds were triple!! So with bags dumped off we set off to explore. Well what I really mean is is that the tour bus was parked just up the road plus a truck and we just had to have a nose. Conveniently a restaurant/pub was just opposite so we nosed whilst noshing and drinking late into the evening. With no sign of life in the tour bus (confirmed by unnamed Baddies who sneaked a peek through the window but only managed to see the bog!) we headed back to the hostel. Teen and Mave were as pissed as skunks and their endeavours to climb the stairs ended up in a giggling heap halfway up! They then decided to use the Internet and post a few messages on the board. I could hear their screams and giggles way up on the floor above. Eventually we all tumbled into bed to try and get some sleep but were kept awake most of the night by some rowdy Germans who decided that 2am –4am was their play time until Andrea told them to ****. Day Two Get yourself a coffee; this is going on a bit!! The previous days bright weather was replaced by rain and heavy cloud and the mountains were somewhere out there in the mist. We all staggered down to breakfast very bleary eyed but excited. Smelly meat and dried up cheese were on the menu so it didn’t take long for us to soon be on our way heading up the road to the station. Jess and I ran ahead to suss out how full the train was (or what other idiots were up at this ungodly hour!) whilst the other ambled behind. We climbed aboard a full train (full of skis) only to then have the doors close behind us! It started to move off leaving the others behind! Visions of us 2 trying to hold another 8 places on the front row flashed though our minds (I’ve a fat arse but not that fat to fill a whole front row!) but luckily another train was not far behind. Slowly the train made its way up into the mountain with the snow line suddenly coming into view. Visibility got even worse as the snow started to fall and we text down to the others our excitement at these extreme conditions. Before we knew it the station came into view and we clambered our way out of the carriage trying to get a bearing in the white out as where the heck the stage was! We didn’t want to loose front spot – not after coming all that way! We ran over tracks and half erected beer tents to eventually see the stage there in the murky distance right down in a hollow. We ran like greyhounds out of a trap (or BA fans at the sight of his car should I say!) but it wasn’t easy in deep snow with Jess falling on her bum within a few yards. There were only a few people around – all setting up stalls- so when we eventually staggered onto the barrier the only other person to join us out of the mist was Claudia. A few support band members and roadies were on the incredibly high stage sweeping off the snow. They were a cheery lot and very chatty. They lent us their broom so we could at least stand on the barrier base and not snow. The others then joined us (real funny sight watching them gingerly making their way down the slope) and we had a great following few hours larking around and being just really excited baddies. We heard that BA & Co was arriving by helicopter – but the snow was falling even heavier so we didn’t know if this was possible. Our coats etc were getting wetter and wetter and I resorted to wearing the 2004 Baddie fashion collection – black bin liner complete with armholes with matching carrier bags on head. The show was due to start at 10.45 with a so-called Happy Hour but for us it was far from happy. At about 10, to our real disgust, security (who had been totally absent up to this point) decided that they didn’t want us at the barrier and that we had to go right back up the hill and join the queue at the gate. To say we were furious was an understatement. We had been there for over 2 hours, had caused no problems at all, but were route marched up the hill. We fatly refused to join the end of the queue though. Head of security was summonsed and in the end he saw our point of view and we were allowed to be at the head of the row even though those behind were complaining. I pointed out to the complainers in no uncertain terms that they hadn’t come up the mountain as early as us so they could go stuff themselves. WHOOPS. The enormity of getting back to our front row spots began to grow. The hill we had to run down was incredibly steep and very slippery. I knew there was no way I could run with confidence down such a slope so the youngsters in our party were given the task of running like they had never run before and to spread themselves across that barrier when they reached it. Nerves began to grab us all then before we knew it we were given permission to GO GO GO!! I’m sure the security set the gates high up on the hill so they could have a right laugh at what followed! Hundreds of people slithered, slid, fell and pelted down that slope with Andrea (our top hope to secure the places) falling flat on her front sliding down the hill like a penguin on ice. Her legs were still running in desperation to keep going. I dropped my bag and had to try and get back up the hill with even more people coming down after me. I saw poor Mave take a tumble but I was unable to stop to help her as my legs were going to fast to stop. Her face was a picture as she picked herself up and I think I lip read a few expletives! Eventually I got to the barrier where Andrea was holding off the people that were trying to get round her. Jess managed to squeeze in too – like sardines in a tin we were. (Above) Penguins on front row :) The snow was still falling and the stage roof was dripping water and huge chunks of snow throughout the first support act – luckily just missing us all. The band was crp – well me and Jess thought so anyway. But the crowd seemed to be ecstatic about them. Four people behind us were getting to the point of crowd surfing I’m sure! The next band – The Lovebugs – was very good and we started to get really into the mood for BA. Seemed really weird not only to be watching him in the snow but also to be seeing him in daylight! His helicopter landed but because of the poor visibility we were unable to see much of its arrival. No time to wave as it flew in really quick. Someone then came and set up a cord across the front of the stage sort of sectioning it off. I asked him what it was all about and he said it was to keep the photographers to one side of Bryan as he didn’t want pics taken of his right. I remarked that I didn’t think BA was that vain and he replied that he was a nice bloke and not stuck up. His English wasn’t that good so I helped him out by agreeing that Bryan wasn’t stuck up his ar* e like some artists. He killed himself laughing. The girl announcer came onto the stage and said something us brits couldn’t understand but the crowd cheered so we assumed it was good. Apparently Bryan had said that the world looked wonderful from up there or something but it lost it’s meaning in translation. Then at top of the hill down trundled a little snow-mobile (BA pope mobile) carrying the dudes to the stage so they didn’t get their feet wet. WHOOSIES! Then onto the stage ran the dudes looking very young and spright. Bryan and Norm were wearing shades with BA in leather (?) jacket. Norm looked very sexy with his collar turned right up but the poor bloke was freezing. At every opportunity he was blowing into his hands or sticking them in his pockets. Some peeps saw Mickey really struggling for breath, as the air was very thin up there. He was the only one that showed much movement as the others seemed to be pinned to the spot-possibly scared of slipping over. Keith was his usual brilliant self. He laughed at my FOR SALE WILLY WARMERS banner whereas Bryan rolled his eyes. Well he did something but it was difficult to see his expressions as he had them dam shades on most of the time! They were very responsive to the crowd, laughing at one bloke who took off his top up on someone’s shoulders. He must have froze! Someone threw a hat onto the stage – it was bright red with a Swiss cross on it-and Bryan put it on. Right pillock he looked (no doubt the pics will be posted of this!) he sang Winter of ’69 and changed gonna have a ball –ya gonna have a blast - to gonna have a ball- gonna freeze ya arse during 18 til I die! The WYG girl was brilliant. Bryan said it was the best one he had ever had. Some of us had made GIMME A GRIN banners and decided to reveal them when Cloud number 9 came on. So up went the banners just as he struck the first chord. I think he was so taken back that he momentarily forgot to start singing. Keith saw mine and gave a huge grin from ear to ear. Before we knew it the show was all over and the dudes were back in their pope mobile with many waves and cheers. It was now time for us to climb up that dam hill again and to try, with 8000 others, to get down the mountain on the little trains. Watching Mave try and climb was real funny. Some kind bloke took pity on her and gave her a hand. I spotted someone with a new 2004 T-shirt and went off to seek out the stall. A while later I get a call from Andrea to get myself to her real quick as she has spotted Bryan. It turns out that he had walked through the crowds with hardly anyone batting an eyelid (apart from Andrea and Stevie who are baddies after all and have antennae for him!) and into a ski hire shop. Andrea asked for a pic and of course he agreed and then he skied off confidently into the mist. We didn’t know whether to get skis on ourselves or to chase him down the hill on the train. But there was no possibility of doing either as done of us ski and the trains were full! So it was back down the Mountain we went – by this time the adrenaline was subsiding and we realised that we had had nothing to drink or eat since the night before. So we piled into the same restaurant – still keeping an eye on the tour bus. But the night drew on and it was time to head off back to the hostel for showers etc as we had to get up at 5am for the journey back to Zurich for the gig the next day. It had been a very different gig and one that I’m sure will stay in the memory for a long time. Bryan took a couple of shots whilst on stage as he said no one would believe him unless he did.

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