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03/04/04 - SNOWPENAIR,
KLEINE SCHEIDEGG, GRINDELWALD
Review
by Chris Goulding: Where to start with this epic tale! To
say us UK Baddies were a little excited pre-gig is the understatement of the year!
So when the day of my departure arrived it was impossible to concentrate at work,
as my mind was a whirl. They had set up a BA swear box that I had to put money
into for charity every time I mentioned BA and it was well full by lunchtime!
More was added not long after when I got a text message to say that one of our
party couldnt make it. Not wanting her to loose out on a heck of a lot of
money I rang my hubby to see if he wanted to join loads on lovely ladies on a
trip of a lifetime. I gave him only one condition if he agreed to accept this
mission that he was too ignore my BAD ways and not file for divorce when
we got back!! (Wise move, as you will read later). So
I got home all in a right fluster, throwing any of his clothes I got find into
a bag and we made a mad dash for the train up to London and on from there to Maves
not far from Luton Airport. The rest of the party joined us during the early hours
of the morning and we then set off in a convoy of taxis to book in for the flight
at 5.30am. The 2 hours before the flight were spent entertaining Spanky the
Monkey the little rascal kept running off with Ad in chase!! With
lack of sleep gradually catching up on us we all eventually boarded the plane.
It was my first flight so I was quite nervous but took heart from Helen who was
stuffing chocolate down her neck like it was going out of fashion, that I wouldnt
be ill. The plane taxied down the runway with the pilot telling us the weather
was a bit unsettled around the airport but fine elsewhere. NEVER believe a man
in uniform I say! - That dam plane shaked, rattled and rolled all the way to Zurich.
I thought it was gonna shake itself to bits at one stage. Helen was going whiter
by the minute and then a nice shade of green. I was busily looking up train timetables
for back to the UK as there was no way I was getting on a plane again!! Eventually
landed (belly flopped onto the runway) and we made our way out of the plane with
the cabin crew very envious that we were off to see BA. Collected
bags, went through passport control and made our way into customs to find we were
missing Sarah. She had lost her passport possibly on the plane (which was now
heading back to the UK) so we could only wave to her thorough glass doors as she
waited deportation!! A few minutes later she appeared looking very sheepish
she had found it in her back pocket! A quick goodbye
to Ad, Jo & Steve (they were doing Zurich and not coming to snow
gig) and we staggered our way with our luggage to the station and onto a real
plush double decked train. For 4 hours we wound our way through the valleys with
the scenery getting higher and higher and even more WOW at every bend. We eventually
pulled into the station to be met with the most gob-smacking beautiful scenery
you could imagine. In front of us was the mountain on which the gig was gonna
be the next day with the little railway climbing way up onto it. My tiredness
& hunger disappeared it was all too much to take in. We
booked into the hostel 5 in each room- good job we were all good mates
as the bunk beds were triple!! So with bags dumped off we set off to explore.
Well what I really mean is is that the tour bus was parked just up the road plus
a truck and we just had to have a nose. Conveniently a restaurant/pub was just
opposite so we nosed whilst noshing and drinking late into the evening. With no
sign of life in the tour bus (confirmed by unnamed Baddies who sneaked a peek
through the window but only managed to see the bog!) we headed back to the hostel.
Teen and Mave were as pissed as skunks and their endeavours to climb the stairs
ended up in a giggling heap halfway up! They then decided to use the Internet
and post a few messages on the board. I could hear their screams and giggles way
up on the floor above. Eventually we all tumbled into bed to try and get some
sleep but were kept awake most of the night by some rowdy Germans who decided
that 2am 4am was their play time until Andrea told them to *****. Day
Two Get yourself a coffee; this is going on a bit!! The
previous days bright weather was replaced by rain and heavy cloud and the mountains
were somewhere out there in the mist. We all staggered down to breakfast very
bleary eyed but excited. Smelly meat and dried up cheese were on the menu so it
didnt take long for us to soon be on our way heading up the road to the
station. Jess and I ran ahead to suss out how full the train was (or what other
idiots were up at this ungodly hour!) whilst the other ambled behind. We climbed
aboard a full train (full of skis) only to then have the doors close behind us!
It started to move off leaving the others behind! Visions of us 2 trying to hold
another 8 places on the front row flashed though our minds (Ive a fat arse
but not that fat to fill a whole front row!) but luckily another train was not
far behind. Slowly the train made its way up into the mountain with the snow
line suddenly coming into view. Visibility got even worse as the snow started
to fall and we text down to the others our excitement at these extreme conditions.
Before we knew it the station came into view and we clambered our way out of the
carriage trying to get a bearing in the white out as where the heck the stage
was! We didnt want to loose front spot not after coming all that
way! We ran over tracks and half erected beer tents to eventually see the stage
there in the murky distance right down in a hollow. We ran like greyhounds out
of a trap (or BA fans at the sight of his car should I say!) but it wasnt
easy in deep snow with Jess falling on her bum within a few yards. There were
only a few people around all setting up stalls- so when we eventually staggered
onto the barrier the only other person to join us out of the mist was Claudia.

A
few support band members and roadies were on the incredibly high stage sweeping
off the snow. They were a cheery lot and very chatty. They lent us their broom
so we could at least stand on the barrier base and not snow. The others then joined
us (real funny sight watching them gingerly making their way down the slope) and
we had a great following few hours larking around and being just really excited
baddies. We heard that BA & Co was arriving by helicopter but the snow
was falling even heavier so we didnt know if this was possible. Our coats
etc were getting wetter and wetter and I resorted to wearing the 2004 Baddie fashion
collection black bin liner complete with armholes with matching carrier
bags on head. The show was due to start at 10.45
with a so-called Happy Hour but for us it was far from happy. At about 10, to
our real disgust, security (who had been totally absent up to this point) decided
that they didnt want us at the barrier and that we had to go right back
up the hill and join the queue at the gate. To say we were furious was an understatement.
We had been there for over 2 hours, had caused no problems at all, but were route
marched up the hill. We fatly refused to join the end of the queue though. Head
of security was summonsed and in the end he saw our point of view and we were
allowed to be at the head of the row even though those behind were complaining.
I pointed out to the complainers in no uncertain terms that they hadnt come
up the mountain as early as us so they could go stuff themselves. WHOOPS. 
The
enormity of getting back to our front row spots began to grow. The hill we had
to run down was incredibly steep and very slippery. I knew there was no way I
could run with confidence down such a slope so the youngsters in our party were
given the task of running like they had never run before and to spread themselves
across that barrier when they reached it. Nerves began to grab us all then before
we knew it we were given permission to GO GO GO!! Im sure the security set
the gates high up on the hill so they could have a right laugh at what followed!
Hundreds of people slithered, slid, fell and pelted down that slope with Andrea
(our top hope to secure the places) falling flat on her front sliding down the
hill like a penguin on ice. Her legs were still running in desperation to keep
going. I dropped my bag and had to try and get back up the hill with even more
people coming down after me. I saw poor Mave take a tumble but I was unable to
stop to help her as my legs were going to fast to stop. Her face was a picture
as she picked herself up and I think I lip read a few expletives! Eventually I
got to the barrier where Andrea was holding off the people that were trying to
get round her. Jess managed to squeeze in too like sardines in a tin we
were. 
(Above)
Penguins on front row :) The snow was still falling
and the stage roof was dripping water and huge chunks of snow throughout the first
support act luckily just missing us all. The band was cr*p well
me and Jess thought so anyway. But the crowd seemed to be ecstatic about them.
Four people behind us were getting to the point of crowd surfing Im sure!
The next band The Lovebugs was very good and we started to get really
into the mood for BA. Seemed really weird not only to be watching him in the snow
but also to be seeing him in daylight! His helicopter landed but because of the
poor visibility we were unable to see much of its arrival. No time to wave as
it flew in really quick. Someone then came and set up a cord across the front
of the stage sort of sectioning it off. I asked him what it was all about and
he said it was to keep the photographers to one side of Bryan as he didnt
want pics taken of his right. I remarked that I didnt think BA was that
vain and he replied that he was a nice bloke and not stuck up. His English wasnt
that good so I helped him out by agreeing that Bryan wasnt stuck up his
ar* e like some artists. He killed himself laughing.

The
girl announcer came onto the stage and said something us brits couldnt understand
but the crowd cheered so we assumed it was good. Apparently Bryan had said that
the world looked wonderful from up there or something but it lost its meaning
in translation. Then at top of the hill down trundled a little snow-mobile (BA
pope mobile) carrying the dudes to the stage so they didnt get their feet
wet. WHOOSIES! Then onto the stage ran the dudes looking very young and spright.
Bryan and Norm were wearing shades with BA in leather (?) jacket. Norm looked
very sexy with his collar turned right up but the poor bloke was freezing. At
every opportunity he was blowing into his hands or sticking them in his pockets.
Some peeps saw Mickey really struggling for breath, as the air was very thin up
there. He was the only one that showed much movement as the others seemed to be
pinned to the spot-possibly scared of slipping over. Keith was his usual brilliant
self. He laughed at my FOR SALE WILLY WARMERS banner whereas Bryan rolled his
eyes. Well he did something but it was difficult to see his expressions as he
had them dam shades on most of the time! They were very responsive to the crowd,
laughing at one bloke who took off his top up on someones shoulders. He
must have froze! Someone threw a hat onto the stage it was bright red with
a Swiss cross on it-and Bryan put it on. Right pillock he looked (no doubt the
pics will be posted of this!) he sang Winter of 69 and changed gonna have
a ball ya gonna have a blast - to gonna have a ball- gonna freeze ya arse
during 18 til I die! The WYG girl was brilliant. Bryan
said it was the best one he had ever had. Some of us had made GIMME A GRIN banners
and decided to reveal them when Cloud number 9 came on. So up went the banners
just as he struck the first chord. I think he was so taken back that he momentarily
forgot to start singing. Keith saw mine and gave a huge grin from ear to ear.
Before we knew it the show was all over and the dudes were back in their pope
mobile with many waves and cheers. It was now time for us to climb up that dam
hill again and to try, with 8000 others, to get down the mountain on the little
trains. Watching Mave try and climb was real funny. Some kind bloke took pity
on her and gave her a hand. I spotted someone with a new 2004 T-shirt and went
off to seek out the stall. A while later I get a call from Andrea to get myself
to her real quick as she has spotted Bryan. It turns out that he had walked through
the crowds with hardly anyone batting an eyelid (apart from Andrea and Stevie
who are baddies after all and have antennae for him!) and into a ski hire shop.
Andrea asked for a pic and of course he agreed and then he skied off confidently
into the mist. We didnt know whether to get skis on ourselves or to chase
him down the hill on the train. But there was no possibility of doing either as
done of us ski and the trains were full! So it was
back down the Mountain we went by this time the adrenaline was subsiding
and we realised that we had had nothing to drink or eat since the night before.
So we piled into the same restaurant still keeping an eye on the tour bus.
But the night drew on and it was time to head off back to the hostel for showers
etc as we had to get up at 5am for the journey back to Zurich for the gig the
next day. It had been a very different gig and one
that Im sure will stay in the memory for a long time. Bryan took a couple
of shots whilst on stage as he said no one would believe him unless he did. 
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